To me, Finding Serenity is the opposite of striving for perfection, to accomplish a goal, or to be someone you're not. It is the act of surrender to that which just is in any given moment. The exhilaration of a new experience, the heartache of a loss, or the tranquility of a quiet moment of reflection. Finding a moment of serenity means allowing yourself to rest in whatever arrises and being ok with it. Knowing that it is impermanent! You either have to enjoy it while it lasts or endure it for as long as it takes to pass. It is a a sense of calmness in spite of the storm. A sense of strength and fortitude to act if necessary but to be still if is that which is called for in the situation.
When I was growing up, my mother instilled two things in me. The first, was that she loved me more than anything in this world. The second, was The Serenity Prayer. Battling alcoholism for many years, she recited it as a cry for comfort. A turbulent storm raged in her heart and she wanted more than anything for the proverbial seas to be calm so that she could live life the way she wanted. Not overcome on a regular basis by the need to escape the pain and suffering that she felt. So this prayer stayed with me.
Even though I knew the prayer by heart before I think I learned anything else, I never really knew what it meant. Since then, those who know me well know that my personality (and life) have been a little less than serene. With a hundred different plans and interests, I always feel as though my head and heart are racing a mile a minute. Sometimes I wonder if the universe knew that I would need this prayer as much as my mother did.
Although I admire the beauty of this prayer, let's be clear, I do not believe that God will magically grant me peace and tranquility when I recite this prayer over and over again. If that were the case, then I would have been as serene as the Dalai Lama long long ago! Finding Serenity is something that you need to work at in these busy times. Until very recently, I had not even tried. In fact, I'd made a habit of doing quite the opposite in my life. This is not something that I realized on my own. My husband was the first to notice, telling me that it seemed as though I sought more stress in my life. When things are calm, I have a habit of searching for something to do in order to busy or distract myself. Though it was something that my body craved the most, that calm space of just being doesn't coming natural to me and quite frankly, it can even feel uncomfortable. It wasn't until I started to burn myself out that I realized that I no longer had any choice, I would have to learn how to take better care of myself and part of that was finding more moments of serenity.
Like me, people don't often start to think about taking care of themselves until something has gone wrong and this often comes in the form of burnout or exhaustion. We have been conditioned to feel selfish if we take time out for ourselves if the house is still a mess or someone else needs us, or we could be working on our project. That's right, I'm talking to you! You know that moment when you put something somewhere and you have no idea where you put it? Or you pull into the daycare parking lot and feel as though you could cry because the drive from work was simply not cutting it as "me time"? Or someone is talking to you and you have a million "should do's" going through your mind and you have no ability to focus on what's going on in front of you? No?! Just me? No way - I don't believe you.
Symptoms of needing time out for yourself and a little bit more serenity in your life are feelings of anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, poor sleep, poor memory, irritability, troubled relationships and lack of focus, just to name a few. These can also be side effects of other things, and since I'm not a medical professional, you should always seek the care of your provider if "me time" isn't making you feel any better! Having said that, whether you are experiencing these effects or not, it is always a good time to start taking more time out for YOU!
Stay tuned! Starting with my next post, we are going to start talking about ways that you can begin to find more serenity in your life! In the meantime, I’d love to hear a little bit about what your self-care routine looks like and when you know that it's time to take a little break.
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