I’m in awe of how things can unfold in life if you can get out of your own way and let events unfold naturally. How they flow when you're not trying to control every detail. How powerful it is to allow the ups and downs of life to pass without trying to force your way through them. As you may know very well, this is something that I have worked on my entire life. Patience was never something that came naturally to me and in fact, I had no idea what it could even feel like to just “wait and see” without wondering and worrying about every detail. I’m proud to say, however, that I’m getting closer everyday to an abundance of serenity and joy in my life and have witnessed how amazing it feels to live in the present moment without worrying or obsessing about what will happen next. I practice a series of affirmations through each moment that I feel inclined to spiral into worry. I remind myself that all will unfold as it is meant to and that the solutions to problems and opportunities for joy will present themselves in time. When we're obsessing and stressing about the outcome of an event, it is much harder to recognize the solutions that are in front of us. It is in stillness that we will find clarity.
I’ll give you an example, after Thanksgiving, I wanted to write a post about gratitude, but I just couldn’t find the right words or the right example to share. I did sit down to write this post many times, but everything that I wrote felt forced and lacking depth and true meaning. I closed my laptop and told myself just to allow. It would come to me in time. I was tempted to move to another topic but I felt strongly that this was the topic that I needed to share next.
As I procrastinated in writing my post, a number of stressors hit my family that diverted my attention. I had to practice patience and be gentle with myself, knowing that my writing could wait and my priority was to take care of the medical needs of my family that had arisen. Then at the beginning of last week, I received a text message from one of my aunts telling me that my grandmother had broken her hip in two spots. My Nanny is 83 years old so I immediately feared the worst. I then reminded myself that no matter what happens, all that I could do in that moment was to take one step at a time. Concerned that the injury was fatal, I put in a leave pass and got on the road upon it’s approval.
When I went to visit her, she was in so much pain. I had to leave the room at one point as I choked up with tears to see her like that and didn't want her to see me cry. She's one of the most compassionate people I've ever known and seeing me in pain would only cause her more. I spent as much time as I could over the next three days at my Nanny’s bedside. I helped her up when she needed to get up and made sure she had her medication on time to control her pain. And just like that, I unexpectedly had an opportunity to learn a lesson on gratitude and patience.
Whether you’re in a situation of great joy and happiness, surrounded by friends & family having fun, or you’re in a situation which is painful and filled with worry and despair, you can always find gratitude in that moment. In difficult times such as these, we are justifiably frustrated with the curves that life throws us and worried or fearful about what will come next. But in the face of our pain and devastation, just like in love and happiness, we can choose gratitude and patience. Patience here being the ability to live in the present moment by focusing on your blessings and life's lessons (a gratitude/compassionate and loving state) as opposed to trying to rush and control your way out of the situation (a manic fearful state). The higher vibration emotions will help you find strength while you endure the troubling time.
In between washroom breaks, meals and bathing (all opportunities to practice patience), I sat with my Nanny and told her stories that I’d never taken the time to share with her. I showed her my favourite pictures and videos of her grand babies (at 83, she’s not on Facebook). I slowed down to watch a movie with her (my fav - Christmas with the Kranks). And I listened to her stories as well, even if for the third or fourth time that day. I would much prefer to have had this time with her without her injury but for some reason, we never seem to stop and spend time on what matters most until we get a kick in the ass from the universe, do we? So I’m grateful that her injury wasn’t worse. I’m grateful that I had the resources to get home to see her. I’m grateful for the stories she told me in those few days and that she let me become part of her world to take care of her in ways that she so desperately needed but so often resists (sound familiar?). I’m grateful for her love. Her encouragement. I’m even grateful for her gratitude. I’m grateful for this time that I had with her that I would not otherwise have had.
My heart is sad for her pain and worried about her fate. It was a rough drive home when I had to leave her. I would have given anything to feel her pain for her these past days. She thanked me so many times for being there for her but I don’t know if she will ever comprehend how grateful I am for what she’s given me. A true lesson on gratitude.
The next time that you experience a devastating event such as this, know that you can feel your pain but ease it just a bit by also feeling gratitude as well. Suffering is part of the human condition. We cannot control and force our way out of it and into a situation that we perceive to be more pleasant, but we can practice patience and gratitude. We can live a little more serenely by knowing that the storm will pass and we will be all the stronger for having endured it.
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