I often say that "life is all about balance!" But how often do we actually strive for balance? We go week after week telling ourselves that next week it will be better or that week of vacation is coming up. Each day getting more and more exhausted and finding little time in our day to care for ourselves after we fulfil all of our daily musts and shoulds. There are plenty of people that talk about how much work-life balance is needed but I’ve never actually found a way to strike this balance without a sacrifice of something.
The truth is, you can’t be the best employee, writer, student, mom, grandmother, daughter, son or friend ALL at the same time. You can’t take your son or daughter to hockey practice at 5:30 pm but stay at work late to get that project just a little further along. You can’t throw the best birthday party ever but also stay at work every weekend to put in your 150%. It just isn’t possible. If you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by people who are able to support you in your endeavours, then you may be able to do more - but I would argue that there is not one single person that can do it all, all of the time. Ask people what they are not doing when they tell you about how busy they are. We seem to wear BUSY like some sort of badge in our society. Sometimes it's a mask that we put up, a role that we play so that we don't have to slow down and actually feel our emotions. An addiction that appears to be positive. But like any addiction, it may be wearing your body down and doing irreparable damage. How long is it sustainable and what are you not able to do by doing everything?
I would argue that what you are not doing is taking good care of yourself. You might have to neglect something in order to make it appear as though you are doing everything. How do I know this? Because I’ve been there! And I’ve watched countless people around me try to find this balance and have to make sacrifices somewhere. What ends up happening is that you feel as though you’re not doing anything to your best ability when you’re trying to do everything!
So what do you do? Am I telling you that it’s hopeless to even try then? No! Not at all.
What I am striving for instead is not work-life balance but work-life harmony. In fact, harmony, period. I want to work hard. I want to contribute to the good in this world. But I know now that I can't do it all at the same time. In order to find this kind of balance, you may have to surge and break from any of your main priorities at any given time and it all turns out looking messy but when played back, it’s a gorgeous melody. It’s life. It’s messy. And you can do what you need to do and take care of yourself as well. You can get your exercise, do your meditation, eat well and spend some time cuddled up with a book by the fire. You just can’t do all of these things that you want to do (or even need to do) all of the time on a consistent basis because there are simply not enough hours in a day.
If you were to have walked into my house this past weekend, you would immediately have noticed that it looked as though the proverbial tornado went through. I’m ok with that. I absolutely love a clean house because it reduces my anxiety and allows me to work or read with a higher state of serenity and bliss. However, it just wasn’t going to happen this weekend. My family was doing a little weekend away trip and packing with three little people to get out the door when I wanted was pure chaos! If I had worried about the mess, I might never have gotten out the door. My kids aren’t going to remember how clean our house was all of the time when they grow up - but they will remember the memories that we made when we left the mess alone for a couple days and got out to play and enjoy one another.
So next time you're feeling frazzled, and a plate or two is threatening to drop, perhaps let it! Just make sure that it is one that it is safe to drop for the day or week. Make sure that you prioritize and that you add self-care in there on a consistent basis! Your body, your family and those you serve will thank you for it!
Until next time my dear Serenity Seekers! #worklifeharmony #selfcare #prioritizeyourself
~ Katrina
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