Two thousand and seventeen wasn’t the first year that I felt as though I was suffocating by life, but it was certainly the first time that I felt as though I had absolutely no choice but to make a change. I simply was not capable of continuing to go on the way that I was living. If you’re curious about some of those early emotions, you can read some of my early blog posts.
So as I was gripping to my ego for dear life, and trying anything I could to make myself feel better, I often turned to books. I still do, of course, but not in that same manic way that I did then. The progress that I have made even in this regard is a demonstration of the fact that the tools and pieces of wisdom that I share with you in these pages bring about healing and change. Unfortunately, it’s not a linear process. It can sometimes take a bit of trial and error to find the tool that fits your particular situation and it can also get really messy before it gets better. The beauty though, is in that mess. Once it starts to get messy, perhaps with messy ugly crying, a box of tissues and Netflix binging… then that is a sign that all of the stored and blocked negative energy is starting to come out. It needs to be released in order for you to move forward. Releasing all of the negative emotion that you’ve been holding onto for perhaps years needs to be released in order to start living your best life. I’m not the only example of this that you will find. I’ve also shared with you my friend Mya’s story but I guarantee you that you will find many others who will tell you that they began to move forward when they began to let go. To create our future we must first learn to live in the present and to get out of our way to become clear on those creative plans.
It may seem as though I’ve digressed a bit, but this leads me to one of those very books that I turned to for healing. On one of my visits to a gorgeous little bookstore across from St. Paul University in Ottawa, Singing Pebble Books, the staff recommended a book to me that changed the direction of my life. While we were talking I mentioned quite tentatively to her that I was a writer and had a growing interest in spirituality, particularly Buddhism. She asked if I had ever seen a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She revealed to me that she knew of people who healed themselves from personal trauma with the exercises in the book and I was sold.
That night I read the first chapter and began practicing what Cameron refers to as Morning Pages for as many mornings as I could fit it in. I would use a coffee break later in my day or even my lunch hour if I needed. The material that came out of me with the stream of consciousness journaling that she prescribes was not only great fuel for some of my earlier blog posts, but it also fostered many lightbulb moments after which I knew exactly which “next right thing” I needed to do. It was not always easy and it took a lot of effort and courage to do some of those things, but I no longer felt it was an option to ignore the inner knowing as it was right there in black and white.
So how do you do this practice? I very much recommend grabbing a copy of The Artist’s Way if you want the full explanation of the how’s and why’s of the process as she tells it. However, I have heard this exercise passed on by many others by simply being described as stream of consciousness writing. Today on YouTube, I share a meditation exercise called My Future Self Meditation in which I guide you through a meditation and then a few prompts for getting started with this form of journaling. If you would like to go ahead and give it a try on your own, simply get out a notebook and start writing anything and everything that comes to your mind for three full pages or about 20-30 mins. When you feel like you should stop because you have nothing left to say, keep going. Just write “I feel like I should stop because this feels very silly”… or “I really don’t have anything to say, the kids are going to be up soon and I should be doing something more productive”. Trust me, at some point after all of your messy stuff comes out onto the page and out of your way, how you really feel about the issues in your life will be revealed. These thoughts and feelings can then lead to action and creating your future with intention.
Give it a try and let me know what you think by commenting on this post. You can also visit me on Instagram or Facebook and talk to me there.
Much love and happy journaling,
xo Kat
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