Real life strategies for taking care of your mental health!
As has become a habit with my blog, the idea that I thought that I would write about this week didn’t end up being the one that I felt that I had to share. This week, as Bell Let’s Talk has run through all of our social media feeds, I thought a lot about the idea of how we think about mental health. I’ve made no secret that this year has been a rough year for me but it has also been one for which I have grown to be the most grateful. Reaching my lowest point in terms of mental health has allowed me (or forced me into) time to pause and think about all aspects of both my life and that of everyone one else around me. I have read and thought about not only what those of us who are facing health issues are dealing with, but what it means to be living the human condition. I have grown extensively in my understanding of concepts such as compassion (for myself and others), self-care and gratitude. The way that I contemplate these areas of my life have not only forever changed, but have expanded beyond anything that I had ever thought to be possible.
As I contemplated the notion of mental health and personal growth this week, I also had the opportunity to attend a workshop on coping with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for my husband. The women and men that I had the opportunity to learn from are most definitely experts in their field and I liken them to magicians after having been blessed to enough to witness changes in my spouse's ability to cope in just a few short weeks. It was clear in listening to them speak and skillfully navigate conversation about some very tough topics that they are living their dharma (their sacred path).
In my opinion, the highlights of this workshop were: learning to tune into and understanding your emotions (via knowledge of the Subjective Units of Distress Scale - SUDS), communicating your needs and how you are feeling to others (as appropriate), as well as how to restore your emotional, cognitive and physical gas tanks when they are depleted (self-care). Although we were talking about these topics in relation to individuals struggling with PTSD, it quickly became clear to me that these are concepts that could benefit EVERYONE; even those who perceive themselves to be healthy. What I didn't see in the conversation about mental health during Bell Let's Talk was that of not celebrating "busy" and having "no time" in our culture. What if we changed the conversation to include "healthy" people and asking them what they are doing to increase their resilience and take time out BEFORE they are burn out and are experiencing anxiety, depression and psychosomatic symptoms? A better understanding of all of these areas would help people in preventing problems, help them with their relationships (teaching compassion for self and other), and perhaps even change the way that we parent, love and lead.
As someone who deals with anxiety (as a symptom of trauma) which sometimes disturbs my ability to function and think clearly, I have been working for years to find out how to slow my reaction to things that bother me. I aim to taper my reaction to having to do things outside of my plans or habits when imposed on me and accepting that I cannot control everything all of the time. There isn't even very much that I can control - no matter how hard I try. However, and this is a big fat HOWEVER, even after all of the books that I'd read and all of the people that I had spoken to, I had never found a way of understanding the problem in quite the way I did this week.
The first thing that I learned at this workshop that I've been given permission to share with you is this concept of SUDS. If you do a quick Google search, you will discover that this is a well known term in the area of coping with anxiety and PTSD. I found a link on the Australian DVA website which described the activated and anxiety ridden side of the SUDS model. Both this side and the lower side, the depressed (Blue) side of the scale was discussed. By learning to identify where your current emotional state would fall on this scale, you can learn which coping mechanisms work for you in that moment in order to bring you down or up into a more functional range. Everyone has their own baseline, everyone has their own patterns and everyone has their own techniques which work best for them from a range of those taught on the workshop.
I'm not sure if you're aware, dear Serenity Seeker, but there is an area of this scale which people may fall into which precludes the ability to THINK clearly!! In a highly aroused state, the fight or flight stress response is activated and the body is preparing to fight a sabre tooth tiger. Whether or not your brain sees a tiger or perceives the threat to exist doesn't make any difference, your body is reacting. Until you're able to return to a more grounded state, cognitive functioning is limited. For a description of what happens when the body is activated during stress, Harvard Medical School has a website which describes the process in detail. The negative effects on cognition can happen in the highly depressed state as well. These are some of the reasons that you lose memory and ability to concentrate when you are highly stressed. So if you are starting to have memory and concentration issues that you didn't before and you are under an intense period of stress - this might be a warning sign and you may need to incorporate self-care into your daily routine NOW!
So what can you do when you are experiencing anxiety or depression? Again, it depends on where you are on the scale and different techniques work for different people but here is a list of techniques that you can try if you find yourself unwell and unable to return to baseline. (This is NOT an exhaustive list and if you are in crisis, you will need to discuss your own coping strategies with a medical professional). I am providing this information for those of us who need a little extra help in coping with our emotions at a tactical day to day level only. Not as medical advice. My description of these techniques comes from my own research in both self-improvement and psychology literature as well as buddhism/mindfulness and yoga.
Temperature: If you are in a heightened state of arousal and your face is red hot. You're agitated, angry or anxious, then something as simple as getting a rush of cold air (or water) may do just the trick to shock you into the present moment so that you can then implement techniques which require a bit more cognitive ability, such as self-talk. This could include just going outside in the fresh cold air at the moment here in Ottawa. But if you're lucky enough to live somewhere warmer, you could take a dip in a cold pool/ocean or simply throw some cold water on your face at the washroom sink.
Grounding: In order to bring yourself back to the present moment and begin to turn off the stress response, there are a couple of techniques that you can use to get your feet firmly planted. The first, known as 3-2-1, is to name three things that you can identify with your senses. Three things that you can taste, hear, see, feel or smell. The second, is to focus on an object in your environment and identify its characteristics until you feel your sense of calm return. Upon being told by my husband that I seem to be getting really upset, I might say "ok, I can feel the warm air from the fireplace on my skin, I can feel the softness of the throw on my couch and I can see the huge white snowflakes fall outside my window" and POW, I am back!
Check the Facts: As human beings in moving about in this crazy world, we make up lots of stories about the world around us which we decide are true based on our perceptions (past experiences and conditioning), however, a good deal of it is not true. I learned from Buddhism that the past and the future do not exist. They are illusions in our mind. It is only the present moment that truly exists and can be influenced. Checking the facts about the story that you are telling yourself, which is affecting your mood, can be an excellent way to return to the present moment and move on with your daily activities. Let me give you an example. I'm a classic worrier. This year, when I got my winter tires put on, the dealership had to keep one of my summer tires in order to get a scratch on my rim repaired (which I scraped when I was distracted and not living in the present moment). I ranted to my husband about how worried I was that I was going to arrive in the spring with no summer tires to put on because they were going to have LOST it! They had done a couple of things that had broken my trust and since trust is a trigger for me - I was off to the races with my mind! Checking the facts, had I done it that day, would have gone like this: "I have proof on my receipt that they have my tire, tires are materialistic objects that can be replaced, a tire is not worth degrading my health over, in spite of their other mistakes there is no evidence to support that they are going to misplace my tire". Then I would have simply allowed myself to move on. Instead, I wrote reminders for myself everywhere and called them to check on the tire until I had it safely in my possession. But I'm getting better, and I'm learning. That's why my mindfulness routine is called a practice.
Breathing: This is not going to necessarily work if you are too worked up. But if you've managed to get yourself down a bit, you might be able to get your heart rate and breathing back to baseline by taking a few deep belly breaths mindfully. My Apple Watch reminds me every now and again that it is time to breath and I try to take a minute to do so. There are also some wonderful breathing exercises that you can do. I once read the book by Katrina Repka called Breathing Space: Twelve Lessons for the Modern Woman. I highly recommend this book if you want to learn more about the benefits and practice of breathe work.
Self-talk: Have you ever heard of Imposter Syndrome? I mentioned it in another post. The stories that we tell ourselves about who we are and our capabilities can have a dramatic effect on how we move through the world. I once was the master of ceremonies for a very special event with at least a couple hundred people and some very prestigious guests. I really wanted the privilege and honour of this opportunity and as we got on stage, in spite of the fact that I couldn't believe that I was about to speak in front of all of those people in both official languages, I told myself that most were friends that wanted to see me succeed and that I was totally going to rock it! Guess what - I did! Was it easy? No. Did I survive and do a good job? Yes! And even when I stumbled over my words a bit at one point, I continued, telling myself that it didn't mean I couldn't keep going and do a great job. Self-talk is the act of being your biggest champion. When you start to hear yourself (seriously - I'm not kidding) tell you a bunch of negative trash that is bringing you down or making you anxious, try to catch it because it's time to start talking back and standing up for your best self.
The tips that I've shared with you have contributed a great deal to my healing. Unfortunately, I've been told by medical professionals that this type of anxiety is something that never goes away. I would argue that there is a large percentage of the human race with which I share this in common. My anxiety has an upside as well, it makes me super productive and organized when I need to be. But I'm also learning that there is a time for being super productive and creating a spreadsheet for every aspect of your life and there is a time for making space for self-care and self-compassion.
It is my sincere hope that with what I have shared with you that you or someone you know can find a way to get two feet back on the ground when the spiral starts to take over and move forward as your best self.
If this article has helped you or inspired you in some way, please help me keep the posts coming by sharing on social media or subscribing to my site. If there is a technique that has helped you or a friend that is not on this list, I would love to hear about it on my Facebook Page - Finding Serenity with Katrina Paquin. While you're there, I'd love it if you would like my page and invite your friends. Let's keep the conversation going together!
Until next time! Much love and take time out for yourself today ~ even if just 5 minutes!
~ Namaste
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